Being in a relationship that’s full of love and positivity can be the greatest feeling in the world. However, if your partner exhibits narcissistic personality disorder, it can really take a toll on you and your relationship.
If you are in a relationship with someone who is a narcissist, then the relationship can usually be broken down into stages. This is what I refer to as the ‘narcissistic relationship journey’.
Idealisation
The first stage of a relationship with a person with a narcissistic personality disorder will be incredible. You will find yourself on a high of excitement that you will have seldom felt before. You will find that being in love happens quickly with ‘love bombing’ and massive romantic gestures. You will have a feeling that this is ‘meant to be’ and that you have finally met your soulmate. It will feel so right. The reason it will feel like this is because the narcissist is usually very charismatic and can read people easily.
Devaluation
Devaluation starts to happen when you have been hooked in and believe you have ‘met the one’… then the games begin. Manipulation, confusion, gaslighting, blaming control and anger. This is so disappointing that you have not managed to maintain the high and you’ll probably feel that it’s your fault. “If only I could have been better, my partner would not be so disappointed with me.” The sad truth is that you have never been significant, it is all about feeding the narcissist. Hard to believe I know.
Disregard
In time you will feel your partner moving further back from you. Why? The game is over they are bored now the relationship has plateaued. You are broken and sad most of the time, you want to understand what has happened, but the narcissist doesn’t want to discuss it. You may find the emotional abuse will ramp up and your self-esteem will come under serious attack. You may become obsessed and start to feel miserable.
If you are one of the lucky ones, you will start to realise that you were caught up in someone else’s game. You will start to identify that there is something wrong with your ‘soulmate’… not you!
Learning from your narcissistic relationship journey
If you’ve found yourself in this situation then I have some good news, therapy will help you to recover! We can learn from your experiences and give you the tools and knowledge that will help you to build strong relationships that are built on love, kindness, respect and understanding… a few of the things that we’re missing during your narcissistic relationship journey!
Get in touch with Nightingale
The first, and one of the most important steps, is to get in touch with a trained counsellor. Their experience and knowledge are invaluable. You can speak to one of our counsellors by calling 0141 353 9373 or by filling out the contact form on our Contact page.