For some people, anxiety seems to become louder as soon as the day comes to an end.
During the day, you might be busy with work, family, errands and everything else that needs your attention. You may even feel as though your anxiety is relatively manageable.
Then you get into bed.
Suddenly, your mind is busy.
You start thinking about something that happened earlier. You worry about tomorrow. You replay a conversation. You think about something you need to do next week. One worry leads to another, and before long, you’re lying awake feeling tense, restless or overwhelmed.
If this sounds familiar, you’re certainly not alone.
Why can anxiety feel worse at night?
There isn’t one single reason why anxiety can become more noticeable at night. Often, it’s a combination of what is happening in your mind, your body and your environment.
There are fewer distractions
During the day, there is usually plenty competing for your attention.
Work, conversations, social media, household tasks, driving and everyday responsibilities can all occupy your mind. When you finally have some quiet time, thoughts that have been pushed aside during the day can suddenly come to the surface.
This can make it feel as though your anxiety has appeared out of nowhere, when actually you are simply noticing thoughts and feelings that haven’t had much space during the day.
Your mind has time to catch up
When you are constantly busy, you may not have time to process what has happened during the day.
At night, your mind may start reviewing conversations, decisions and situations:
- “Did I say the wrong thing?”
- “What if I’ve upset them?”
- “What if something goes wrong tomorrow?”
- “What if I can’t cope?”
- “Why did I do that?”
This type of overthinking can keep your mind in a state of alertness when your body is trying to wind down.
Anxiety doesn’t always wait for a logical reason
One of the most frustrating things about anxiety is that you don’t necessarily need to have something obviously wrong in your life to experience it.
You might have a job, relationship, home and family life that are all relatively stable and still experience anxiety.
Anxiety is your body’s threat response. Sometimes that alarm system can become overly sensitive, meaning your body reacts as though there is a danger that needs your immediate attention even when there isn’t an obvious threat.
Tiredness can make anxious thoughts harder to manage
Being tired doesn’t necessarily switch anxious thinking off.
In fact, when you’re exhausted, it can sometimes become harder to step back from your thoughts or look at them objectively. A relatively small worry can suddenly feel much bigger at 1am than it might have done at 1pm.
This can create a frustrating cycle:
Worry → difficulty sleeping → tiredness → increased anxiety → more worry → difficulty sleeping
And once you start worrying about not sleeping, sleep itself can become another source of anxiety.
Why does everything seem worse at night?
Have you ever noticed that a problem can feel enormous at midnight but much more manageable the following morning?
This doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real. It can simply be harder to put thoughts into perspective when you’re tired, alone with your thoughts and focused on a problem.
Anxiety also tends to encourage “what if?” thinking. Instead of dealing with what is happening right now, your mind starts trying to predict and prevent every possible future problem.
Unfortunately, there is no point at which the anxious mind can guarantee that everything will be okay.
So the search for certainty can become exhausting.
What can help with nighttime anxiety?
There isn’t a single technique that works for everyone, but it can help to begin noticing what happens when your anxiety increases at night.
You might ask yourself:
- What am I worrying about?
- Am I trying to solve something that cannot actually be solved tonight?
- Am I looking for certainty about something that is uncertain?
- What am I telling myself will happen?
- Is this a problem I need to act on now, or something I can return to tomorrow?
Sometimes the most helpful response isn’t to solve the worry, but to recognise that your mind is anxious and allow the thought to be there without continuing to engage with it.
Creating a calming evening routine, reducing stimulation before bed and giving yourself some time to wind down can also help. However, if anxiety is regularly affecting your sleep or making evenings difficult, it may be worth exploring what is underneath it rather than simply trying to manage the symptoms.
When nighttime anxiety is affecting your life
Occasional worry is a normal part of being human. But if anxiety is regularly keeping you awake, affecting your concentration during the day or leaving you feeling constantly on edge, you don’t have to simply accept that this is how things are.
Counselling can provide a safe space to explore what is driving your anxiety, identify patterns of thinking and behaviour that may be maintaining it, and develop practical ways of responding differently.
At Nightingale Counselling Consultancy, anxiety counselling can help you understand the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and behaviours, while developing strategies that are tailored to your individual circumstances.
You don’t have to face anxiety alone
If your mind becomes louder when the world becomes quieter, it may be a sign that there is something that needs your attention.
You don’t have to wait until anxiety becomes overwhelming before asking for support.